I broke my own rule and now I want to stay in Chicago. But what can I say, Internet? He has such a nice beard and calls me sweetheart while saying horrible, crude things to me in public. I think I may like this one.
I’m trying very hard to not write on here. If I do, it will be very dark stuff and I apologize in advance for any weird, awkward feelings or manifestations of evil that may occur deep within your soul. Then again - if you’re following me, you’re already a bit sinister, and my most recent novella about prostitution and drugs will be like a walk through Candyland for you. I love you all, so much.
Listen, Internet. We need to talk. I’m breaking up with you. It’s not you, it’s me… not liking you anymore. So goodbye, until I get bored again… which will probably be in about an hour.
P.S. I hate soccer.
That’s how much I have to drink before I take any interest in soccer. It’s also how much I have to drink before I take interest in anything, but especially soccer.
Start new relationships during the Winter, Spring and Fall. I avoid anything that could be serious during Summer. Six months is usually when I begin to really assess the importance and viability of any relationship. Potentially telling someone that they’re not important enough to meet my family on Christmas is an awkward situation I’d rather avoid.